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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26789824">How much love will you happily take</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau'>yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Litre of Me [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Facials, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Humiliation kink, Kink Negotiation, Large Cock, Light BDSM, M/M, Masturbation, POV Patrick Brewer, Patrick Brewer is Thirsty, Patrick Brewer is a Cockslut, Patrick is a virgin when he meets David, Porn with Feelings, Porn with Light Plot, Praise Kink, Sexual Fantasy, Size Kink, Tenderness, Verbal Humiliation, a little bit of Patrick/Rachel and Patrick/OFC, that's the extent of the canon divergence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:16:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26789824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The trouble is, they don’t really have any privacy outside of the store — at least one member of David’s family is always at the motel, and Ray has never met a boundary he won’t cheerfully skip over. Neither of those seem like the ideal place to say 'so, I’m actually a virgin' or 'funny thing, apparently my dick’s so big no one wants to have sex with me', but the store hardly seems like an appropriate place to have that conversation either. </em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Litre of Me [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>410</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How much love will you happily take</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A few weeks back I received <a href="https://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/post/627097374526930944/i-think-im-revealing-my-baser-roots-here-but-so">this ask</a> on tumblr and went <i>huh, there really is a lack of size kink in this fandom</i>, followed quickly by <i>now I kind of want to write super hung Patrick</i>. I was talking about this with a few friends, and it was one of those long and meandering conversations that started with hung!Patrick and ended with hung!sub!virgin!Patrick with a heaping of humiliation kink and a splash of praise kink, and... well. Here we are. Straight up id porn if we're being honest.</p><p>Also, because I know someone's going to mention it, I think it's fair to assume that the Patrick of this canon divergence prefers a... less tight fit to his jeans than canon Patrick does 🤣</p><p>Title is from Hera Hjartardóttir.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The night Patrick and Rachel plan to have sex for the first time, when his parents are away for the weekend and they have his house to themselves, Patrick takes his clothes off and she laughs. It’s not a cruel laugh; it’s nervous, almost scared, and as soon as the noise echoes through the room she clamps her lips shut as though she didn’t mean to let it escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patrick, I’m sorry,” she says, fingertips pressed to her bottom lip as though she could force the laughter back inside. “I just— there’s no way— it’s too </span>
  <em>
    <span>big,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she blurts out finally, and Patrick feels a flush creeping up the back of his neck at her words. It’s not as though he’s unaware of his size; he’s spent plenty of time in locker rooms, after all, fielded comments from his teammates in the showers that landed somewhere between taunting and jealous. Plus, he’s watched porn. He knows that he’s on the upper end of the scale, size-wise, but he’s never thought about what it would look like to someone like Rachel, whose sexual experience is limited to Patrick’s hand down the front of her jeans once and (he assumes, though they’ve never actually talked about it) masturbation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” he says, even though it’s really kind of not; the fact that she doesn’t want to sleep with him is of course fine, though a little disappointing, but her reaction has him feeling embarrassed and sort of gross… and yet she’s lying naked and beautiful in his bed and telling him his dick is </span>
  <em>
    <span>too big… </span>
  </em>
  <span>it’s just all a swirling, confused mess in his gut. He reaches for his underwear, where he kicked them off eagerly and left them on the floor just a few moments ago, and steps into them, pulling them up to cover his still half-hard dick as Rachel wraps his comforter around herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we just watch a movie or something?” she asks as she reaches for her bra, wriggling under the covers to put it back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that’s what they do. They get dressed in silence before going to sit on the couch in the living room, and Patrick puts on a DVD he brought home from work yesterday. It would be a normal night if not for the stiff way Rachel’s holding herself, head resting on his shoulder as always but far less relaxed than normal, almost as though she’s making herself do it. When he takes her home she kisses him across the center console, and looks at him for a long moment before she gets out of the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick’s not surprised when she breaks up with him a few days later. It hurts, but not as much as he would have thought it might — the feeling is more discomfiture than anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets similar reactions when he starts dating at university. Tricia Connell chokes back a high-pitched giggle when she presses her hand to his clothed cock while they’re making out in a mostly-empty cinema before she snatches her fingers back; Jenny Ellerson’s eyes go wide and she bites her lip when she slides his sweatpants and briefs off in the privacy of his dorm room, and she suddenly remembers she has an early morning test; Lauren Thompson sneaks into his shower when they’ve been dating a few weeks and actually blurts out “Oh my god, what the hell” when her eyes reach his groin before she stumbles back out again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, it just seems easier to stop trying. And perhaps it should feel like something is missing from his life, but if Patrick’s being brutally honest with himself he’s not sure it really is; maybe it’s just that he hasn’t experienced sex, but when he thinks about doing it — really thinks about it, like imagines himself sliding inside a woman — what he feels is more curiosity than overwhelming arousal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Generally speaking, Patrick doesn’t think about anything in particular when he jerks off, just focusing on the physical sensation of his hand on his dick and how good it feels. Sometimes, though, his mind will wander of its own volition and he’ll find himself thinking about those reactions, nervous and yet sort of impressed at the same time; about the guys on his team laughing and saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>you sure you know how to wield that thing, Brewer?</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he knows that actually, he really kind of doesn’t. When he does think about those things he always winds up coming so hard he has to clap a hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he graduates he moves back to his hometown and takes an accounting job at a firm his dad’s friend owns. It’s not necessarily what he would have loved to do, but he’s good at it and the hours are steady. But the years pass, and the older he gets the more awkward he feels it would be to tell a potential partner how inexperienced he is. He goes on dates occasionally, and he tells himself that when he meets someone he has a special connection with it will be worth having that uncomfortable conversation, but that day never arrives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More and more often, when he jerks off he thinks about being put in embarrassing sexual situations; in his imagination Rachel’s nervous </span>
  <em>
    <span>there’s no way</span>
  </em>
  <span> turns scornful, Tricia’s shocked laughter becomes mocking. And it’s messy and confusing, because Patrick’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> his sex life to be nothing but humiliation and disappointment but the idea of it turns him on out of his mind, and all he can really do is try not to think about it too hard after he’s come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends from school start getting married, and having kids, and Patrick’s happy for them. He really is. But before he knows it he’s more than five years out of university and is in the exact same place he started, single and with a monotonous job. He needs a change of pace, a change of scenery. He starts searching job boards, and when he finds an ad based in a town called Schitt’s Creek he laughs so hard his stomach hurts. The guy advertising the job is also offering room and board, and Patrick sends him an email before he can talk himself out of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the week, he has a residence in Schitt’s Creek and a job as a business consultant, both courtesy of an almost painfully cheerful Ray Butani.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two and a half weeks after he moves, David Rose comes to him to file his incorporation paperwork and Patrick is fascinated by him right from the start. It takes him almost a month, an offer to go into business, and more hikes than he can count before he finally realises that his feelings for David run much deeper than an admiration for his business model. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s another three weeks before he works up the courage to ask David on a date, and even then it’s only because the opportunity is thrown in his lap. It’s nearly a disaster when David invites Stevie along but then somehow, miraculously, it isn’t. He drives David back to the motel and then almost loses his nerve, but luckily David leans in and gives him the best first kiss — the best kiss, period — of his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, Patrick finally knows what he’s been missing.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“I need to go a lot slower than a sleepover tonight,” Patrick finds himself telling David the next day, panic clawing up his throat. It’s not that he doesn’t want David; he wants David so much it’s literally painful, being half-hard around him for the majority of each day. In fact, the depth with which he wants David — and, more importantly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>likes</span>
  </em>
  <span> David — is kind of the problem. Because while the girls he dated in school breaking up with him after seeing his dick was, yes, humiliating and kind of awful, the thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>David</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing so is gut-wrenching. He knows what his mistake was before: it was not telling them ahead of time. He’s determined not to make that mistake with David.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It turns out, though, that David’s question was less sex- and more corpse-motivated, and later he assures Patrick that they can take things at whatever pace he needs. Which Patrick appreciates, because it gives him time to figure out how to broach the elephant in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trouble is, they don’t really have any privacy outside of the store — at least one member of David’s family is always at the motel, and Ray has never met a boundary he won’t cheerfully skip over. Neither of those seem like the ideal place to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>so, I’m actually a virgin</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>funny thing, apparently my dick’s so big no one wants to have sex with me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but the store hardly seems like an appropriate place to have that conversation either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next few weeks, David is a perfect gentleman. He lets Patrick set the pace and as their post-closing makeout sessions get more heated Patrick tries to make sure they happen in the dim light of the stockroom, hips angled away from each other in case his jeans can’t hide all the evidence of what David’s touch does to him — he’s sure that if David were to look he’d know, but David’s eyes politely and determinedly never wander further down than Patrick’s chest. Patrick still can’t figure out how to tell David what he needs him to know, and on a slow Friday afternoon when David is sucking on his neck in the stockroom he seriously considers just grabbing David’s hand, putting it on his crotch and letting the chips fall where they may.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s never been so grateful for Stevie as when she interrupts them before he can do that — at least for a minute, and then she’s offering them her apartment and he has something to be even more grateful for. That’s the exact privacy they need to talk about it, and maybe a little more if David having time to prepare results in a better reaction than he’s had previously. David is annoyingly hesitant, though, and Patrick tries to hide his exasperation until they finally agree to take her place for the night.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>When Patrick says he wants to lock the box of their dating history back up, he means it; but then David leans back and says, “You know what, we didn’t even get into your history,” and Patrick freezes. He knows that David is teasing, but it also feels like the teasing is coming to an end and he can’t put off saying what he needs to say any longer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David, there’s, um, something we probably need to talk about. Before we go any further.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something like apprehension flickers over David’s face. “Okay…” he says hesitantly, clearly trying to flatten out a grimace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just, um.” He knocks back the last of his drink to try and gather up a bit of liquid courage. “I don’t really have any history to speak of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s face relaxes. “First time with a man, I know,” he says, his voice soft, and Patrick shakes his head before he can lose his nerve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not just with a man,” he croaks. “Um. I haven’t… with anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What feels like an interminably long silence follows this, though it’s actually probably only a couple of seconds before David speaks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he says carefully. “Well, everyone has their own timeline; you don’t have to feel bad about waiting for—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s not— it’s not for lack of trying.” David being so kind about this is making it ten times harder to spit the words out and he drops his gaze, picking at Stevie’s faded bedspread so he doesn’t have to see the look in David’s eyes. He can feel the all-too-familiar crackle of humiliation crawling up his spine, knows his embarrassment is clear on his face, and it makes his throat tighten and his stomach clench and his cock twitch and he hates it, loves it, wants to poke at it like a bruise until it consumes him. “It’s been, um, a size issue?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a beat, and then David is placing a gentle finger under his chin and turning Patrick to face him. His face is warm and open and Patrick likes him so much it’s kind of terrifying; he desperately needs this night not to end up another disaster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That,” David says, voice soft, “is only an issue if we make it an issue. And I don’t plan on making it an issue.” He leans in with a kiss so gentle Patrick can barely feel it, and it’s only when Patrick gasps into it that David deepens the kiss, his tongue brushing gently along Patrick’s lower lip as he slides it in. Then he pulls back, but before Patrick can complain David scoots backwards on the bed, lying down on his back in the middle of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come kiss me, Patrick,” he says gently, and Patrick realises what David has done; he’s positioned himself so Patrick can choose which parts of their bodies touch and which don’t, and he’s so grateful for David’s quiet care that he might cry if he didn’t have a much, much more appealing option. He puts down his empty glass before crawling up the bed, not trying for sexy but from the way David’s eyes darken he thinks he might have accidentally succeeded, angling himself so his chest is on top of David’s but with his hips and legs off to the side before he leans down for another kiss. David wraps his hand around the back of Patrick’s neck, pulling him closer, and Patrick loses himself in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They make out for a long, long time, until Patrick is breathless and dizzy, his lips tingling and his cock almost unbearably hard in his jeans. He can feel David’s hand slip under his sweater, fingers stroking lightly against the base of his spine, and he groans so loudly at the gentle touch David actually starts a little, breaking away from the kiss to give Patrick a soft smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d really like to take your clothes off, if that’s okay with you,” David breathes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick hesitates. He wants, desperately, to get his hands on David’s skin, to feel their bodies pressed together. But he can’t help remembering that this is the part of the evening in which everyone else has freaked out, and while David is at least more prepared than they were he’s still, if he’s being honest with himself, bracing for that reaction a little bit,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, it’s fine if you don’t want to,” David says, and Patrick realises he’s hesitated too long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just—” he presses the heel of his hand over his eye and rubs at it in frustration. God, how can he say this without sounding ridiculous? “I want to</span>
  <em>
    <span> be</span>
  </em>
  <span> naked, I just don’t want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>get</span>
  </em>
  <span> naked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” To his credit, David doesn’t give any indication that he thinks this is a bizarre request; he just kisses Patrick again with a smile. “How about this? I’ll go into the bathroom and get changed in there, and you take off whatever you feel comfortable taking off and then get into bed. Does that sound good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sounds amazing, and for the second time tonight Patrick is overwhelmed by David’s understanding; it’s exactly what he needs but doesn’t feel in any way condescending. He nods, and David comes back for one more kiss before he slides out of bed with a promising grin. He turns the main light out on his way to Stevie’s bathroom, leaving just the bedside lamp illuminating the room, and Patrick watches him leave before tugging his sweater and undershirt inelegantly over his head. His jeans follow them into a crumpled pile on the floor, and before he can overthink it he pulls his boxer briefs off as well before diving under the covers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the couple of minutes David is in the bathroom his erection starts to flag, but when he enters the room again after calling Patrick’s name and getting an invitation it roars back to life immediately. David is </span>
  <em>
    <span>mouthwatering,</span>
  </em>
  <span> all long lines and elegant movements — and no slouch in the size department himself, Patrick notes with interest, his dick clearly just as affected by their kissing as Patrick’s was — and Patrick desperately wants to get his hands on him, wants to explore every inch of his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David crawls into the bed next to him, leaving a good amount of space between them as he smiles at Patrick. He looks a little nervous, Patrick realises suddenly, and he leans in to kiss him as he brings his hands to David’s chest, moaning into David’s mouth as he feels the muscle there. David’s smile gets wider as Patrick deepens the kiss, his hands roaming all over David’s chest and arms and back, the movements almost frantic as he tries to touch as much of David as he can. David touches him back, fingers brushing a nipple and making Patrick push into it before the hand moves around to his side and further south. By the time David pulls back they’re both breathing heavily, David’s hand resting on Patrick’s hip as he looks searchingly at his face for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would it be okay if I touched your dick now?” David asks, and Patrick tries desperately to swallow down the sudden apprehension as he nods slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He expects David to move straight to his cock but instead he pulls his hand away, bringing it to Patrick’s knee with a touch so gentle it makes him jump. He leans over to kiss Patrick again as he runs his fingers softly up Patrick’s inner thigh, brushing the soft hair there in a way that makes him shiver and pant into David’s mouth. Then there’s just the barest graze of what feels like David’s knuckles along his balls, eliciting a whine Patrick will probably be embarrassed about later, before a hand grips him nice and firm. Dimly, he feels David freeze against his lips, sucking in a sharp breath, but he can’t really process what that might mean because his brain has short-circuited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew, intellectually, that David has big hands; he’s felt them on his neck, on his lower back, gripping his biceps. He just never followed that knowledge through to its logical conclusion until right now, with David’s hand wrapped around his dick, enveloping him easily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” David says, breaking the silence in a voice that sounds almost breathless, which Patrick can’t make sense of. “Um, I may have misinterpreted </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s a size issue,</span>
  </em>
  <span> earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes Patrick a long moment to realise how else his words could have been understood, and then he winces. After all his worrying about making sure David was prepared ahead of time, he still manages to mess it up. “Sorry,” he whispers, but David shakes his head quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be clear,” David says in a low voice that makes Patrick shiver, “I wasn’t lying. That wouldn’t have been an issue. But this…” he squeezes Patrick’s cock, just once, and Patrick swallows back a whimper at the added pressure. “This is the furthest thing from an issue, this is…” he trails off as he strokes his hand up to the head, twisting slightly, and Patrick moans. David noses along Patrick’s jaw, bringing his lips to the sensitive spot just below his ear and nipping lightly, and Patrick realises with a combination of panic and arousal that he’s close already, so goddamn close, he’s not going to be able to make a respectable showing at </span>
  <em>
    <span>all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not tonight,” David says, voice rumbling and eager, his words almost as slow as the speed his hand is moving on Patrick’s cock, “but sometime in the future, when you’re ready… god, I cannot </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait</span>
  </em>
  <span> to ride this huge dick,” David breathes, and Patrick’s fingers scrabble in the bedsheet as he chokes out a gasp, his back arching as he comes all over David’s hand. It’s by far the most intense orgasm he’s ever had in his life, but rolling in behind the aftershocks is a prickling sort of shame at the realisation that he lasted maybe twenty seconds </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s being generous with himself. When he finally works up the courage to look at David, though, he can’t see any hint of amusement or annoyance; David is staring at him, eyes blazing hot and mouth hanging open slightly, and Patrick can’t keep his hands off him for a single second longer. He surges forward, grabbing David’s face in both hands and kissing him messily before pulling back just far enough that he can speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I— god, David, can I get my mouth on you?” he pants against David’s lips, watching as David’s eyes widen before he nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s what you want,” he says softly. Patrick grins, kissing his way slowly down David’s body until he’s settled between David’s legs and can get an up close and personal look at another man’s dick for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick might be biased, but it’s a really nice dick. His internal scale is a little skewed but he gets the sense from what he’s seen on other people that David is longer than average, thick and circumcised. There’s a drop of precome sitting on the tip and before Patrick can overthink it he leans forward, grasping the base of David’s cock while lapping gently at the head to lick it up, and he hears David groan from somewhere above him. Just that little taste is incredible, and Patrick wants more. He looks up to see David staring down at him, mouth open and panting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might have to talk me through this,” Patrick admits quietly — he’s not stupid enough to try out any outlandish porn moves for his first time, but it’s not like he has even being on the receiving end to guide him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s eyelids flutter shut for a moment before he opens them again. “Mm-hmm, okay,” he says quickly. “Here, let me—” he twists over to the side of the bed where he dropped his bag earlier and Patrick lets go with a twinge of disappointment, but soon David is back with a bottle of lube in his hand and a sparkling smile. “Give me your hand,” he says, and Patrick holds it out to receive a generous dollop of lube. He rubs his fingers over his palm so that his whole hand is covered in it while David recaps the bottle before lying back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” David says. “So you can let your hand do most of the work and just use your mouth on the rest. Makes it a whole lot easier while you’re still getting used to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick nods, wrapping a slick hand around the base of David’s cock before leaning forward. He licks experimentally up the underside of David’s cock, from where his fingers are resting right up to the head, and David’s groan is loud in the small room. Patrick licks his lips, partly to make them wet and partly out of nervousness, before he wraps them around the head and sinks down a little. There’s a burst of bitterness on his tongue and Patrick moans at the taste as he drags his eyes up to meet David’s, who is biting his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so good, you’re a natural, fuck,” David whispers, and Patrick shivers at the praise. “So feel free to do whatever you want with your tongue, really, but if you move your hand and your mouth kind of together then it’s— oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>holy fuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span> just like that, yeah, you’re so fucking good at this,” he trails off in a gasp as Patrick does exactly that, moving his lips down until they meet his finger and then dragging his hand back up along with his mouth. He lets his tongue wander as he finds a rhythm, across the head and swirling around the tip and dragging along the underside, and David is soon reduced to wordless moans and whimpers as Patrick sucks him greedily. And Patrick loves the reactions he’s getting out of David, loves knowing he’s making him feel good — but he loves it for himself too, loves the way his lips are stretched out around David, loves the heavy fullness in his mouth, loves the taste of precome now leaking steadily onto his tongue. He loses track of time bracketed between David’s legs, working his cock steadily, but then David is petting clumsily at his head and gasping his name and Patrick realises he must be close; he briefly considers pulling away but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, so he stays right where he is as David groans and comes into his eager mouth, Patrick working to swallow it down without choking on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” David groans as Patrick lets his now-soft cock slide out of his mouth and wipes the back of his hand across his lips. “How are you— Patrick, kiss me,” he demands, and Patrick hesitates for a second but David obviously </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> where his mouth has been, so he worms his way back up the bed until he’s close enough for David to grab him and haul him in, kissing him as though he wants to try and taste himself, like he’d be quite happy kissing Patrick forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick knows the feeling.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>After their night at Stevie’s they become a lot bolder with each other in the store after hours. Now Patrick knows what sex can be he’s eager for more, and the feeling of David’s hands on him is delightfully addictive. Just being around David all day puts him on edge, David’s little touches and heated looks firing him up so much that half the time when they make their way into the back room after closing Patrick doesn’t even have time to unzip his jeans, coming in his pants like a teenager just from David kissing his neck and rutting up against him a little, and it’s achingly embarrassing but somehow really seems to do something for David — when it happens David pulls his own dick out with shaking hands, and sometimes Patrick just touches him and sometimes he drops to his knees but either way it’s never long until David is gripping at his biceps and coming hard with his head thrown back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick’s dick has never seen so much action. Quite aside from their storeroom adventures he gets himself off at least once a day thinking about David, about the things they’ve done and the many things they have yet to explore. When he thinks about putting his dick inside David, it’s not at all like it was when he thought about having sex with women. That was intellectual curiosity, but the thought of David riding him leaves him burning hot, needy and desperate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But… sometimes. Sometimes his mind doesn’t offer up images of David sinking down onto his cock, or of David fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sometimes, what pops into his head is the idea of David reacting the way everyone else did: </span>
  <em>
    <span>there’s no way that’s going inside me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But David doesn’t break up with him after (thank god, because that would be a deeply upsetting masturbatory fantasy); no, in this scenario his brain conjures up Patrick worships David with his hands and his mouth and his fingers, bringing him to the heights of pleasure over and over while Patrick is relegated to jerking off and perhaps a pity handjob or two. And Patrick’s not sure what it means psychologically or whatever, but the times when he allows himself to indulge in that fantasy are the times he comes the hardest. But he doesn’t allow it often, and he tries not to think about it later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, he really wants to fuck David.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But part of him wants the other thing, too. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>David calls Patrick his boyfriend, after being riled into it by Patrick and Stevie, and Patrick’s heart soars. Two nights later Ray spends the night in Thornbridge and David comes over with an overnight bag, inside of which is, among other things, two boxes of condoms — one standard-sized, and one for Patrick that David tells him he bought the day after they stayed at Stevie’s apartment. “Just so we were prepared,” he says, slightly sheepish, and Patrick brings their mouths crashing together before he can say something too overwhelmingly sentimental for David to handle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night David shows Patrick how to work him open, fingers dripping and twisting and brushing his prostate until he’s almost incoherent, cock flushed and hard and steadily leaking precome. Then he rolls a condom onto Patrick’s dick with shaky fingers before moving to sit astride him, easing himself down onto Patrick’s cock agonisingly slowly until they’re both sweating and gasping. Patrick grips David’s hips, hoping he can last until David has come even with the unimaginable pleasure that is David tight around him; he does manage it, but only because David was so close already from four of Patrick’s fingers inside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, after a shower and dinner, they try it the other way too: David’s long, dexterous fingers pressing inside him, making him feel desperate and out of control until he’s begging David to fuck him. David obliges, pulling Patrick’s legs up so they’re wrapped around his waist and pressing into him, his smile soft and wondrous, kissing Patrick while he adjusts to the feeling of David inside him. Once he does he thrusts his hips up and David takes his cue, one hand on Patrick’s shoulder for leverage as he grinds into him again and again while Patrick jerks himself quickly, coming all over himself. David doesn’t last much longer than that, finally collapsing onto Patrick’s chest with a loud groan.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>A few days after that it’s a slow day at the store and while the business major part of Patrick’s brain thinks he should be more concerned about this the far larger part, the part that is constantly thinking about sex with David, is happy to take advantage of the opportunity for some heated making out in the stockroom. Patrick is against the wall, David’s body pressed against him from lips to knees, large hands splayed across Patrick’s hips and pressing him back so he can’t grind their erections together. Patrick is so turned on that he doesn’t initially register the bell, groaning so loudly when David pulls away that David clamps a hand over his mouth and Patrick’s whole body relaxes into the sensation. David stares at him for a second, a smirk curling the corner of his lips, before he clears his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t go out there in this state,” he says. “Everyone will be able to see how turned on you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No orgasms during business hours</span>
  </em>
  <span> was Patrick’s rule and yet he’s never come so close to breaking it as he is right now, the echo of David’s matter-of-fact pronouncement coiling through him. He grips himself through his jeans with a whimper, trying desperately to hang onto his self-control as David’s mouth drops open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” David hisses. “I have to go deal with that customer.” He searches Patrick’s eyes for a moment before he leans in close. “Be a good boy and wait right here for me,” he says, low and hot in Patrick’s ear, and Patrick chokes back another whimper with immense difficulty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how long David is gone, but when he comes back through the curtain he pulls it slowly and deliberately closed behind him with his eyes locked on Patrick’s and a downright predatory smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put your hands on the wall, Patrick,” he says softly, and Patrick nearly slams his palms into the surface behind him. David nods, once, like he was waiting for confirmation and Patrick gave it to him. He crosses the distance between them before reaching for Patrick’s fly, flicking the button open before unzipping slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David,” Patrick protests weakly, though he doesn’t move his hands. “The store…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is locked, with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>back in 5 minutes</span>
  </em>
  <span> sign on the door,” David says casually as he yanks Patrick’s jeans and underwear down his thighs, pulling his cock free and giving him a lazy stroke. “But I don’t think you’re going to need five minutes at all, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick shakes his head frantically, dick twitching hard in David’s hand. David’s been nothing but sweet when they’ve been together so far, but the condescending, teasing tone is setting off sparks deep behind his ribcage, unlocking something he didn’t know was locked up to begin with. David begins stroking him in earnest and it’s no time at all until Patrick’s thighs are trembling, hands still pressed against the wall as though pinned there as his breath starts coming in short pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“David, I need to come,” he whispers, and David hums in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you deserve it?” he replies, the question entirely unexpected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something unfamiliar pings hard in Patrick's stomach, something he is both desperate and terrified to chase, so he shoves it down for right now and just says, “Yes, David, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David nods. “You’ve been so good, Patrick. Come for me,” he says, and Patrick does. Because David told him to.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Patrick’s fantasies shift a little after that. He still thinks about fucking David, and about being fucked by David, and now he has the real thing to draw on. But the other thing, the hot and humiliating thing, now strongly features David saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>you don’t deserve it, </span>
  </em>
  <span>David telling him what to do. That fantasy crops up more and more, leaving Patrick shaking and gasping after orgasms that feel like he’s being set on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his dick is soft Patrick can’t even begin to figure out how to broach it, with himself or with David, so he just… doesn’t. But then, on a night when Patrick least expects it, right before David goes to grope his dick through his jeans, he asks the question again: “Do you deserve it?” And Patrick gives into it, chases his instincts instead of logic, and shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David nods, a self-satisfied smile on his face. “Mm, I thought so,” he says, nudging Patrick to sit up. Ray is at poker night, so Patrick isn’t sure how much time they have, but he pulls himself upright anyway and tries not to blush as David looks at him carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, there’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> here, right?” David asks him. “A fantasy, or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick nods, his heart thumping wildly in his chest as David smiles at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that it seems easy, so Patrick blurts it all out. Not just the fantasy but the background: about the girls he dated in school and their reactions, about how it all got tangled up in his head, about how much he liked David telling him what to do that afternoon at the store, about all the things he thinks about David doing and saying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not— I don’t want—” he struggles to explain. “I love fucking you, and I love that you want me to fuck you.” It’s true; he thinks about the blissed-out pleasure on David’s face as he rode him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “And I really love you fucking me. But the fantasy of it is…” he shrugs, helpless. “Just really hot, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I know.” David strokes a soothing hand over his knee, and Patrick lets out a shaky breath. “And it can just be for you, if that’s what you want. But if you wanted us to play with it a little… I would be very, very open to that.” David’s hand tightens, and Patrick shivers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Play?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm. Like a scene. Act it out. Only if you want to, though,” David adds earnestly, and something in his tone shakes the last of Patrick’s concerns free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d really like that,” he breathes, and David nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What follows is not incredibly hot sex, but a discussion about safewords and limits. Patrick’s never seen David take anything so seriously, not even at the store, so he pays close attention when David talks about a traffic light system and answers honestly when David asks about the exact shape of the fantasy. They’re just wrapping up the conversation when they hear Ray walk in the door downstairs, and Patrick groans in frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We probably want a bit more guaranteed privacy than we had tonight for this anyway,” David says, and Patrick has to concede the point — once or twice Ray has come home early, after a few really bad poker hands, and he’s not great about knocking before walking into Patrick’s room. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It’s nine days before they get the kind of privacy they’re looking for, not that Patrick’s counting. But after work each evening they’ll head into the back room and David will tell him exactly what to do, whether that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>suck my dick</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>touch yourself for me</span>
  </em>
  <span> or </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t come until I tell you to,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it’s all unbelievably hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ray has a conference out in Elm Glen that will take him away overnight. Once they’re in Patrick’s bedroom David kisses him deeply before standing back with a raised eyebrow, and it takes Patrick a second to remember before he grins and says, “Green.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well done,” David says, brushing his thumb along Patrick’s jaw. “I’m proud of you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick shivers, cock twitching in interest at the words. “Thank you,” he whispers, and David smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome. Now take off your clothes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick scrambles to obey, unbuttoning his shirt as quickly as he can before pulling it off and throwing it haphazardly into the corner. Once he tugs his undershirt over his head he realises David is sitting on the bed but has made no movement to get undressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you…” he asks hesitantly, but David just raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of being naked while David is fully clothed sends a jolt of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> rushing through him, and he quickly bends down to yank off his boots before straightening back up. His belt is the next to go, and then he slides his jeans over his hips and down as David’s eyes zero in on his dick. A little self-conscious and very turned on, he pulls off his underwear and adds them to his pile of clothes and then just stands under David’s scrutiny, flushed and breathing heavily, waiting for his next instruction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David finally drags his eyes up from Patrick’s dick to his face and then he laughs. It’s not a laugh Patrick has heard from him before; it’s steely and cruel, and Patrick can feel himself getting harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot believe,” David says in a cool tone that makes Patrick feel like he’s burning up, “that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought I would let you put </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> inside me.” His voice is contemptuous and careless, and it’s so goddamn hot Patrick is shaking with it; the fact that he knows David doesn’t mean it somehow makes it even hotter than he imagined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But,” David continues, “if you can be good — if you can keep your greedy hands off that ridiculous cock long enough to satisfy </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> — then I </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> let you come once I’m finished with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Patrick’s not sure he’s going to get through David </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking</span>
  </em>
  <span> without coming; he’s so hard it hurts, balls aching even though he already jerked off in the shower this morning. “Thank you, David,” he whimpers, and David gives him a small but genuine smile of acknowledgement before the mask slips back over his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On your knees.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick kneels, grateful for the carpet giving him a bit of padding. David peels his sweater over his head, folding it carefully and placing it on the end of the bed before doing the same with his t-shirt at a pace that feels achingly slow to Patrick, before he stands up and walks over to where Patrick is kneeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get my cock out, Patrick,” he says, and Patrick reaches for the fastener of his pants before hesitating. They’re a little complicated but David seems in no hurry to help him out, but eventually he figures it out and starts to tug them down before David holds out a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say take them off, I said get my cock out,” he says, and Patrick flushes at the mistake. He reaches into David’s underwear, noting smugly that David is already hard as he tucks the pants and underwear carefully under David’s balls, exposing him to the room before he looks up. David’s face is perfectly neutral, but his eyes are dark and locked on Patrick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now,” David tells him. “I don’t want a lazy fucking blowjob, so put your hands behind your back and then suck my dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another surge of heat rushes through him at the demanding tone. He clasps his hands together behind his back before he leans forward carefully, not wanting to lose his balance, to wrap his lips around David’s cock and slide down about halfway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David puts his hands in Patrick’s hair; not tugging or pushing, just gently resting there as Patrick finds his rhythm. “Fuck,” he groans. “That feels so fucking good — but you wouldn’t know, would you?” he adds lightly, only a little breathiness belying what Patrick is currently doing to him. “Poor Patrick, your fucking dick is a choking hazard, you’ll never know how good it feels to have someone worshipping your cock like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not true, and of course they both know it; David’s lips were stretched around him in the stockroom as recently as two days ago, working as far down as they could, David muttering something afterwards about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>one day</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’ll manage to deepthroat Patrick, the same thing he says every time. But the fact that it’s all just part of the fantasy doesn’t make the idea of it any less hot and Patrick’s answering moan is muffled as he pushes as far down on David’s dick as he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t imagine going to all this effort knowing it wasn’t going to be reciprocated,” David says in a surprisingly steady voice considering just how much of his cock is lodged in Patrick’s throat right now. “You must be a real little cockslut.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The word ricochets through Patrick, making him whimper as he feels a telltale surge. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t come, don’t come,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks as he grasps frantically at the base of his cock, but it’s only when David hisses and steps back, pulling his cock free of Patrick’s mouth, that he realises he was given another instruction too, and he bites his lip and drops his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” David growls. “What did I tell you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, David, I was going to come,” Patrick whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David grabs his jaw, somehow both firm and gentle, and tugs his gaze forcibly upwards. “But I told you not to come </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> not to touch yourself,” he says. “Do I have to tie your hands up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which… actually sounds incredibly hot, but maybe another time. “No,” he says quietly. “I’ll behave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good boy,” David purrs, making him shiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>David smirks at him. “You like hearing that, don’t you,” he says, not bothering to phrase it as a question. “You like me telling you that you’re being good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick nods quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, I know. I want to tell you that you're good, so please keep doing what you're told,” David says, and Patrick nods again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Mouth back on my cock,” David tells him simply, and Patrick eagerly sucks him down again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the messiest blowjob he’s ever given; without the use of his hands to steady him he occasionally slides down a little further than he intends, and there’s drool all down David’s cock and his own chin and probably on the carpet as well. But David doesn’t seem to mind, as his breaths get shorter and sharper, as he starts to moan, and Patrick is just starting to prepare to swallow his come when David pulls back again, wrapping his own hand around his dick and jerking it steadily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patrick,” he says urgently, and Patrick looks up at him. “I need a colour — can I come on your face?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick chokes down a moan at the unexpected request. “Green, fuck, so green,” he says quickly, and David’s hand speeds up on his cock, holding Patrick in place with the other hand, and Patrick thinks to close his eyes just in time for David to groan loudly as he comes. It hits Patrick on his forehead first, then his nose and his cheek, some dripping down towards his chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, you’re so fucking hot,” David murmurs after a long silence. “Let me grab a washcloth, hang on—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait.” Patrick spits the word out without thinking, but he can hear by the sudden stillness that David has frozen. He’s so on edge he’s trembling, and he wants to come just like this. “Is it— can I open my eyes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on,” David says, and then a thumb swipes under his eyebrow. “Okay, you should be good now,” David tells him, and Patrick blinks his eyes open to find David staring down with him with a face full of wonder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was good, right?” Patrick asks him, a little desperately. “I was good, I made you come, please can I come like this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment David’s smile is wide and dazzling, and Patrick can see the moment he schools it back into a smirk. “I suppose you might as well get yourself off,” he says casually. Patrick’s hand flies to his dick at the permission, the other one reaching down to tug lightly at his balls. He stares up at David as he strokes himself, who is watching him carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David’s clearly waiting until Patrick is </span>
  <em>
    <span>right there</span>
  </em>
  <span> because Patrick can feel the heat curling low in his belly when David says: “After all, it’s not like anyone else is going to do this for you, is it?” and Patrick comes so hard he thinks he actually screams, though it’s hard to hear with the way his pulse is thundering in his ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, Patrick,” David whispers, sinking to the floor; he wipes Patrick’s face off carefully with his fingers before wrapping his arms around him, peppering soft kisses all over his face, and it’s only when Patrick leans into his embrace that he realises he’s trembling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling, honey?” David murmurs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing,” Patrick whispers, hoping it conveys </span>
  <em>
    <span>grateful</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>relaxed</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>right.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He feels David’s smile curving against his cheek, and he thinks maybe David does hear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patrick forgets, sometimes, just how strong David actually is — but suddenly he finds himself being hauled to his feet, tucked into David’s side as they make their way to the bathroom. David wets a washcloth before carefully washing Patrick’s face, then moving down to clean up the mess on his stomach and around his now soft cock. David’s touch is incredibly gentle, and Patrick is almost asleep on his feet by the time he’s done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stumble back to the bedroom and somehow get into their pyjamas before climbing into bed. David lies on his back with his arms out in obvious invitation, and Patrick tucks himself into David’s side with his head on David’s chest as an arm comes around him, enveloping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did that work for you?” David asks quietly, and Patrick almost laughs before he registers the serious tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really, really did,” he says, voice raw with how much he needs David to understand what it meant to him. “David, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David presses a kiss into his hair. “You’re very welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re quiet for a moment before Patrick musters up the courage to ask, “So, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> have any fantasies you want to bring to the table?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David hesitates. “Yes,” he says finally. “But they’re probably a discussion for later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got time,” Patrick murmurs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>David is silent for so long Patrick assumes he’s fallen asleep. Finally, though, his voice cuts softly through the dark: “Yes, we do.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on <a href="http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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